It's not as simple as it might seem, living with a paid caregiver. She is a young person with wants and needs of her own. There are things she wants to do, things she doesn't want to do, times when she is tired. Insofar as is reasonable and possible, I need to respect these times. While she is technically "on the clock" for about 6 or 7 hours a day, six days a week, those hours are spread out. There are times in between when I really don't have the right to impinge on her.
Today has offered a couple of good examples. Her cousin texted her about going to a concert at the Stampede on Wednesday night. She wants to know if I would be willing to go to bed early, so she could leave me in bed and come back late, without having to worry about putting me to bed. I need to think on that. First, I don't really want to go to bed early; I would rather stay up late that night. Second, I don't want to be so inflexible as to drive a wedge in, making her want to leave.
The second one was when we were at Safeway. I wanted to go home through the mall to look at the Stampede decorations. It's not a big deal; I can do it any time this week. The mall even has a Stampede Breakfast tomorrow from 9:00 to 11:00 AM. I could go, eat some pancakes, then check out the mall. I don't really need Shelby for any of that. So I acquiesed today. We came straight home.
I want to be a good employer. I want to have a happy employee. In all of this, there must be balance. While my care must come first, her wishes must be respected as far as humanly possible. She can quit any time. I can let her go with two weeks notice. I have to ask myself every day if I want to go through the search and hiring process all over again.
Maybe you can make a mental checklist of the number of times per month you're fine with these allowances, that way you can retain control yet she has some freedom to keep her happy. I hope this does work out for you both but if it doesn't, I would honestly hire an middle aged person with less social and family ties next time... maybe a retired person with this kind of training who likes to stay in and doesn't have local family to visit often? Ask about social habits. A young woman like Shelby is going to want to do things regularly and there will always be a bit of push and pull there.
ReplyDelete