Shelby Was Here

As noted yesterday, by the time we got home from shopping, I was beat. Not too beat, however, to be unable to consume a couple of  bowls of my homemade bean salad. Now, there is a risk with consuming bean salad just before bed, especially when, once in bed, you are unable to get out of bed to go to the toilet. That risk began to creep into life for me at about 7:30 AM this morning.

By creep, I really mean bubble. The bubbling and rolling in my colon forced me into wakefulness as I realized I would likely not make it until 10:30 AM before events came to a head, as it were. I worked manfully to contain the impending escape plans of the beans seeking freedom. I held on with every ALS weakened muscle I could.

Time passed. An hour, 7:30 AM becoming 8:30 AM, with the pace of my digestion ever quickeneing. More time; 8:30 AM becam 9:22 AM, at which point I could wait no longer. However, instead of releasing the hound of hell within me, I did something new and completely different. I called out for help from Shelby. She emerged through my door, still rubbing the sleep from her eyes. Since I don't wake up early, there is no need for her to do so either.

I explained the situation. Shelby quickly sprung into action. Now, before allowing me to relieve that portion of my anatomy, it was necessary to drain my bladder and remove my condom catheter. This, of course, takes time. I worked once again with all I had to contain events, not with complete success. As Shelby described it, "there's one little turd here." I could live with that.

Finally, after all other things seemingly took forever to complete, I was slung up in the air, ready to relieve myself. Relief came, pushed onward by the powerful gases released from within me.

The real thing to note here is that I was not compelled to wait for Home Care. Shelby was here. I was not compelled by time to soil myself and by bed. Shelby was here. I did not have to lay in my own mess for an hour, or perhaps hours on end. Shelby was here.

I could get used to this.