I awoke again to today wishing I hadn't. I awoke again today in pain, suffering from the damage from life and my efforts to live it. I awoke again today filled with the despair and loss driven by what my failed life has become. Yet I awoke again today.
It is a day for decisions. I have decided to sell my boat. I can no longer afford to live that life, either financially or physically. I can no longer support my beautiful hobby. That part of my life is at an end. Those places of wonder I will never visit again are lost to me. The open sea, the writhing of the waves and wind, the burst of mist from the whale, the roll and rise of the dolphin, these are gone from my life.
I have decided to go to the East Coast on a road trip. I would like to leave on Monday, after spending my birthday on Sunday with my Mom and Ray. They are the cornerstones of my life these days and I want to celebrate what little life I have with them. After that I think I need to get away for a while.
I have decided other things too, things I will not share here. I have decided.
Dear Richard hope you can get to the point that your strength and focus can be on you. Close the door on the past and focus on what you can do that will make you happy. The road you are on is only going to get more and more difficult but you are a strong man and will handle it with grace and dignity I'm sure. God Bless.
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