Monday, 8 July 2013

Focus On The Good

I am tired this morning. I spent most of my night in sleeplessness, tossing and turning, worrying about the myriad of things going on in my life. It has been a very busy few days between dealing with health issues, boat issues, and yesterday's fire in my parent's apartment building. They are fine; their apartment is fine. There is a lot of damage to one wing of their building and they have had to spend the night in a hotel.

Mostly last night I worried about my divorce court hearing next Monday. I know that Carla has something "special" planned. She has been asking our kids to make statements and sign documents although the topic of these statements and documents is a mystery to me. I have expressly told my children that I don't want to get them in the middle of this and that I don't want them to worry about what they say or are asked to say by their Mom. It is all so irrelevant; the division of assets is something determined in law, not by any emotional pleas or demands. Yet I worry.

I am headed back to the boat today. I should be excited but that is also a cause for concern. I know that Ricky is anxious to get back to Vancouver but the weather in the straits has been rough for the last few days. I would prefer to wait another day or so to see it settle down yet I know he will want to head out quickly. He doesn't have enough experience to understand the risks and discomforts of making a heavy weather crossing of the Georgia Straits and I suspect he will be upset with the delay.

Perhaps the best thing for me to focus on is how good this visit has been with Mary, Albert and Rose. It has been an opportunity for me to talk with Mary and Albert, an opportunity for me to get to know my granddaughter, an opportunity to share time with them and let them know how I feel and what I am going through. We talked a lot, Mary and I. While we still have much to discuss, these limited times when we can share what we are experiencing in life, health, divorce, parenting, finances, all these topics that I will not have years to discuss but only months, these are important times and topics.

I am tired today. In that tiredness I am going to focus on what goes well, what went well, and the potential for another visit. Focus on the good, not on the tired. That will make for a better day.

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