It's Normal, Only Different

On Friday, home care came late, so late that I just told them to skip my shower. I planned on having one on my own on Saturday morning, so no worries. Unfortunately things did not work out that way. The shower frightens me, enough so that I will find reasons to avoid it. I need encouragement and help to get this part of my life in order.

So today, the new woman in my life, who shall, for the moment, remain anonymous, came over to assist me with my shower. I don't need help cleaning myself. What I really need is someone holding the wheelchair when I transfer out. The floor is wet and the chair slides, something that has disaster written all over it. She helped and I showered.

After my shower I went back into my bedroom and on to my bed so that I could get dressed. At that moment all the activity and exercise cut in, and I had to go pee. I announced my need and apologized, to which she asked "Why are you apologizing? Everyone has to go pee when they get up. It's a normal part of life." I retorted "Yes, but I have to pee into a jug!"

Her response was brilliant, a great reminder of perspective and how unhappiness is a willful state. She replied "So now that you have so much to be happy about, you have to find something to complain about. You complain about peeing into a jug. Why?" I have to confess that the comment put me in my place right away. She is absolutely right. So I pee into a jug. Who gives a rats ass? I can look at it as embarrassing and inconvenient, or as just a simple fact of my life, and in many ways far more convenient that those who have to wait for washroom availability.

It's all about perspective. I do the same things in life that everyone else does. I just do them differently. Everyone showers, or bathes. I do too. Everyone gets out of the shower on to a wet floor. I do too. The only real difference is I get into a wheelchair. Everyone dresses; I just do it a bit differently now. Everyone goes pee; I just have a different system than some.

My brother once said that suffering is a part of life, but that misery was optional. Peeing into a jug is nothing to get miserable about. Having someone see me when I pee may be awkward but it's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's just normal life, only different.