Sunday, 19 January 2014

How Cool Is That?

My friend Brian is getting married. This is really good. He's met a wonderful woman and they both love each other. Brian is a kind man, funny, quick to laugh, gentle and easy going. He has had his struggles in life, including finding the kind of woman who would love him and whom he could love back. Tanya, his fiance, is equally kind and funny, that calm reassuring kind of person whose care and affection are readily apparent. It's no wonder she is a pediatric nurse; she has love to spare.

It was interesting to watch them over the last year, seeing them go from tentative first meeting to living together, and now to making a life long commitment to each other. Of course I saw most of this from Brian's side initially. Then, as Tanya became part of his life and by extension part of mine, we talked about things that mattered to her, and I learned more about the picture from her side.

Brian is a gentle soul; I don't think I have ever seen him get angry. He laughs and talks in a voice that seems completely void of harm. When he has something serious to say, his voice softens, almost becoming tentative, as if he is not sure that what he is saying is even true. That's what his voice sounded like last year, when he came over to talk, and said "I've met someone." So he told me about Tanya and I asked all my usual nosy questions. Then he said "I would like to bring her over to meet you." That's when I really knew it was serious.

Things got even more serious about six months later when he and Tanya decided to share a home. Actually it made sense; he was at her place five nights a week and she worked overnight for at least three of them. They just enjoyed sharing each other's space. They are comfortable together, supportive of each other, and yet still strong as individuals. It's the kind of thing we all hope for.

A few weeks ago we talked and his voice got that tentative, cautious sound to it again. He said "I'm going to ask Tanya to marry me." I nearly shouted "Congratulations" and with that his voice rose in pitch and strength, saying, "She hasn't said yes yet but we've talked and I know she will. I want to do it in the New Year." The other day, actually last weekend, he popped the question and she said yes. Of course she said yes. How could she not say yes to a man as kind and good as Brian?

Then last night he came over to watch a hockey game with a few of us guys. He came early. I was suspicious of this; Brian's sense of timeliness is rather like his sense of direction. This is the guy who set off for the mountains by driving east and didn't figure it out for an hour or so. Brian never comes early. He came through the door and was barely in before he said "There's something I want to ask you." He used that voice, so I knew it was important. He went on; "Would you be my best man?"

I said yes. Of course I said yes. How can you say no to someone as kind and good as Brian? I am not only flattered and honoured, I am thrilled. Now, at 58 years of age, my life nearly over, stolen from me by ALS, for the first time I get to be a best man. How cool is that? This is a real gift, something I will treasure from someone who has been kind and good to me ever since we first met.

1 comment:

  1. Congratulations to all of you and love to all of you too.