Monday, 5 May 2014


It's been a good week for me as a father. I got to see Meaghan and Charlotte while in Vancouver; I got to see Mary, Rose and Albert while in Victoria. Last night after we arrived in Abbotsford, Ricky and I went for a couple of beers at Moxies. This coming Saturday Kate is moving to Calgary; I get to pick her up at the airport. Children and grandchildren, plus Mom and Ray too, all in a few days. I don't know when this will happen again; I am glad it's happening now. In fact it continues; I'll be meeting Meaghan and Charlotte again this morning, albeit to do some paperwork and business but it's a good thing nonetheless.

Coming to Abbotsford is always problematic for me. I don't like being here; it reminds me too much of unhappy things. Yet here is where two of my children live, in the same house with my ex-wife, a woman and a house I hope never to see again. Here is where one of my grandchildren lives, also in the same house with her grandmother. I am jealous that she sees her granddaughter daily while I see her only periodically.

Once again I wonder about my decision to stay in Calgary, so far from children who are obviously so important to me. I am thrilled that Kate is moving to Calgary; she will be near and I will get to be a Dad again. I talked to Ricky about this last night and he said I was right to get out of Abbotsford. He calls it "a soul sucking hole." It's clear that he doesn't want to be here, yet he is trapped by history, circumstance, and cheap room and board from his Mother.

It is the classic dilemma with kids; sometimes the best way to help them is to make things harder, not easier. Sometimes to get them to fly, you need to make the home nest a bit less comfortable. This is certainly happening to Ricky. Some of the frustrations he is experience with living in that house are the same ones I experienced while living there. Meaghan has them too at times. It makes me wonder who is helping who in this scenario.

Ricky will be airborne one day, probably sooner than later. He worries that he will become successful after I am gone. I told him not to think that way, that I was happy knowing he was happy, that I was confident in his ability to make is own decisions and make his own way in life. I believe in my children. They're good kids. I miss them; I am sure they miss me too.

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