Saturday, 6 June 2015

No Provisos Needed.

I've been invited to go to a buddy's stag party tonight. I happily said yes, the only proviso from me being "if I can get in and out of the limo". We find that out at the last minute tonight. If I can do the limo, I am definitely going to go. We also talked about the wedding. My friend really wanted me to be there but the venue was entirely unsuited to a guy in a wheelchair, all stairs and no easy access to a bathroom. I told him I was honored that he would even have me on the guest list, and not to worry about me. I wanted him to have a great wedding day, not being worried about my limitations.

It\s interesting how often that kind of proviso creeps into my life. I'm used to it, to the limitations that the wheelchair creates. I am certain that I don't want others to bend their plans around my disease. It's critical to me that their life go on free from having to "babysit" me. I'm the on with ALS, not them. On the other hand, there is, and continues to be, a strong support group around me, and that makes like worth living some days.

I also know how important it is when you get married. Let's face it, I am a relationship kind of guy. I once said that my greatest worry was dying alone. It's not, really; it's living alone in those last few precious hours and days before I die. I want, and have always wanted, someone in my life to share both the good and bad with me.

In my mind, marriage is a natural state for men and women, or at least most men and women. The marriage may not be the kind sanctified by some self-appointed arbiter of life's events. The marriage may not have a piece of paper or public event behind it. But to those in the relationship, they are married, and they like it, most of the time. Even when they don't like it, they will stay in the relationship because something inside of us wires us towards coupling. We are made that way.

Whenever one of my friends is in a relationship, it makes me happy. When I am in one, as I am now with Katherine, it makes me more than just happy. It gives me a reason to keep going, a reason for living. Simply by being with me, without the million things she does, she improves my quality of life. When it works, it's wonderful, no provisos needed.

1 comment:

  1. I get that Rick, I have always been happy when my sons were either married or in a happy relationship. Thank Katherine from me for making your life better. Love you. Mom