Wednesday, 29 July 2015

A Thank You To Steve

Last night one of my friends asked my why I had to write so much negative stuff in my blog. He said "Why can't you write more positive stuff? You have all kinds of good things in your life." He's right, I have plenty of good things in my life, although today is not a great day to talk about them. It seems every time I get on solid ground, something else happens to destabilize my life, something else happens to make it harder.

On the other hand, perhaps a day like today is just the right time to remind myself that, in spite of all the crap that comes with my life these days, there are good things happening to me all the time. On any given day, I get tremendous emotional, physical and even financial support from all kinds of people. I have wonderful friends who are sharing this walk with me, a terrific woman in my life who cares for me beyond belief, a social support system that provides me with first class medical care. I have so many things to be thankful for.

So why don't I express that thanks more often? Why don't I acknowledge all the good in my life more often? I think it is because the hard bits, the failings and frustrations, the losses, all combine on a constant basis to batter at me like waves pounding on to a relentless and rocky coastline. I get so overwhelmed by all this crap that I forget. I lack the strength to push it all aside. I just get tired of it.

Today I am resolved to appreciate the good things in my life, starting with Katherine. This woman has come into my life in the last six months and truly made it worth living. I have a woman who cares for me immensely, who loves me. without judgement or condition. I've never had that before. It's so unusual to me that I just don't understand it. It's amazing.

I want to appreciate those people who have supported me both physically and financially. They know who they are, and they are incredibly generous to me. It is another thing in my life which amazes me, that they are not only so supportive, but that they are also so forgiving of my failings. With them, I do not feel judged. I mess up, they tell me, I fess up, and I fix up. This is because of them, not me. I am honoured and blessed by them.

There is so much else to be thankful for, even in the face of tremendous adversity. It's how I keep smiling, in the face of the darkness. I am grateful. Thanks for reminding me of it, Steve.

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