I'm tired, absolutely exhausted. I've barely been up for two hours and I am ready to go back to bed. Writing this entry is almost too much to do. My eyelids are sliding down as I type, my focus and attention minimal at best.
This all started yesterday afternoon. Katherine and I had gone to see my counselor at the ALS clinic. We were all pleased with how well the dosage increase in my anti-depressant had worked for me over the last few days. As Katherine put it, "He's back". After our session, we got a coffee downstairs in the hospital and sat for a bit, enjoying the slack time, looking out over the prairie south of this most southerly point in Calgary, the location of the South Health Campus.
I was feeling good, in good spirits, so I said "Let's go for a drive instead of going right home." We did, detouring well west of Calgary on Highway 22X, all the way out to Bragg Creek, then over to Highway 1, then back east into the city. It was on the drive that the tiredness started to get to me. By the time we had made it home, I was done, fully exhausted.
Katherine put together dinner, a collection of our very tasty leftovers along with some Seafood Risotto out of the freezer. We ate, although I barely did justice to her efforts. Almost immediately after dinner, I transferred to the couch and began to doze intermittently, vainly attempting to watch some TV and keep my eyes open. By about 8:00 PM, Katherine was ready to head home, advising me not to stay up too late.
I tried to watch a bit more TV, but once again fell asleep on the couch. I awoke again at 1:00 AM, made the transfer to my wheelchair, and headed to bed. Alas, when I got there, I could not get to sleep. I was awake until at least 2:00 AM before I finally slept, and even then I found myself awake almost hourly, trying to re-adjust myself in bed. It takes a lot of effort and wakefulness for me to turn over at night.
All in all, I know I have gotten a fair bit of sleep since yesterday afternoon, yet still I am tired. After this bit of writing, and a bit of breakfast, I think I will go back to bed. I need more rest.
I always say it hits like a ton of bricks. I wonder why some days you (isecond person, as in anybody) get nine hours and some days you're up two hours and you have to rest for five. Is the tired like breathing or tired like you want to shut off?
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