Wednesday, 6 July 2016

Ah, What The Hell

Ah, what the hell. You can write your own blog post today. I'll just provide an outline and you can fill in the blanks, find the words, craft the story as you will. How does that sound? Good? Well, here's the outline.

The first segment should be about having consistent pain in your left hand at the base of your thumb, very much like you had 35 years ago when you broke your scaphoid bone in your right hand. The pain started a few weeks ago when you slipped transferring from your power wheelchair to your manual wheelchair. So you decide to go to the local ER for x-rays and likely for a cast. Be sure to discuss your emotions around life with ALS, life in a wheelchair, and life with a cast on your left arm.

The next part is about how you spent almost 4 hours in the hospital, most of it waiting for porters to escort you from department to department. Don't forget the part where you had to go for x-rays twice because the doctor requested the wrong ones the first time.

Then comes the diagnosis, where a doctor who is younger than most of your children tells you the x-rays were "negative"; they can't see a break. And then he tells you that there could be many reasons for the pain, that you should take pain medications like Tylenol, and avoid using your left hand. A sarcastic comment about not using your left hand while in a wheelchair would fit quite nicely here.

There is yet another segment you need to tell, the one about how you went to the mall so Katherine could buy you an ice cream as a reward for being patient while being a patient. That's where, while waiting in your truck, you had to go pee. While doing so, you have an accident with the jug, and now your pants and the truck seat are wet.

Finally the last paragraph, where you go home and park. Be sure to tell the part about getting out of the truck, your face tortured with the discomfort of wet pants and a painful left hand. But there is a twist. The last sentence should be how you see Katherine out of the corner of your eye, smiling and waving a Peanut Buster Parfait for you to see. That's where you laugh and think, "Ah, what the hell..."

1 comment:

  1. I like the ending, mostly because it's happy, and also because I'm a sucker for a Peanut Buster Parfait. Better day tomorrow, Richard. Hope the thumb heals soon.