Winston

I had a slow start this morning, perhaps because I was out last night and then couldn't get to sleep once I went to bed. Nonetheless slow starts are the rule for me, not the exception. There was one thing I noticed last night, that my arms were tired, more tired than usual. I am suspicious of this; actually I am suspicious of pretty much everything that goes on with my body these days. It's hard to tell if I am just tired because I am tired, or tired because I have ALS, or tired because ALS has decided to attack another area on my body.

It's important that I maintain some kind of balance in all this, some kind of philosophical approach that allows me to see past these little things and look at the overall picture. The challenge, of course, is that this is a disease of small increments, of slow or at least moderately slow change. The incremental losses add up but they do it at a pace where it is easy to confuse ALS with the simple effects of living and aging. I find myself continually asking which it is, aging or ALS? That's where balance and philosophical approach helps; in the long run it doesn't really matter. I can do nothing about either.

I used the term "slow start" when describing my morning. My slow starts actually start the night before. Last night is a great example. I was out at my weekly Trivia event. Last night it seemed to run a bit long and I was very tired by the end. I was not the only person feeling that tiredness; others commented on it well before I did, so I know that wasn't just me, nor was it my illness. Lots of us were tired; it's just life.

It was almost 11:00 PM by the time I got home. I did a bit of work on my computer then went to bed. Unable to sleep I turned to my constant bedtime companion these days, Winston Churchill. I am in the midst of book four of his four part series, "The History of the English Speaking Peoples". The first book was an interesting exposition on the early history of England. The second and third books should have been titled "How Winston Churchill's Family Saved the English Speaking Peoples". The fourth volume is a rather complex dissertation on the colonies, mostly the USA. Given that dear Winnie's mother was an American, I guess this makes sense.

It was about 1:00 AM before Winston did his duty and drove me to slumber. Yet at 7:30 AM I awoke, forced by nature to do what I must. I went back to sleep and suddenly it was 8:30 AM. I was still tired and dozed off again, finally waking for the day at 9:45 AM. Since then I have been busy with ablutions, dressing, phone calls and emails and now, finally, writing my blog.

All of this takes time and energy. So I am, once again, tired. That's just the way it goes. I think I will have to go to be early tonight. Perhaps Winston will work better.