I Made My Bed

Last night was better than the night before. Yesterday I awoke on a bed with no sheets, having stripped them in the middle of the night. I got up thinking about how I was going to make my bed, a non-trivial task when you consider that my wheelchair only gets to one side. I decided I would do it later. So, after sleeping in enough to deal with that night, I got up and went about my day.

My place is a bit of a mess right now with missing doors, exposed walls, holes in the ceiling and dust all over. There was a bunch of junk to go to the dump. My friends Mike and Dion came over and they helped me load the truck and take the renovation waste off to the dump. When I say "helped me", I really mean they loaded the truck and then unloaded it at the dump. My contribution was to drive the truck and buy the Timmies.

I did not ask the guys to help me make my bed; that's just not a guy thing to ask for. I know that sounds odd, but then again I am a bit odd in many ways. I would be more than ready to ask a woman to help me make my bed, or my son even, but not one of my male friends. It's just the way I am. So instead we sat and had coffee and talked about life.

After Mike and Dion left, I watched a pathetic Canucks team lose yet another hockey game to a team they should have easily beaten. Still the bed went unmade. Clearly I was hoping for a magical bed fairy to come and do it for me, or at least one of the women in our group. But no, it was me and me alone at the end of the day. I called it a night and before I could climb into it, I was compelled by simple circumstance to set about making the bed.

Making the bed from a wheelchair and without functioning legs is an interesting challenge. First I had to strip the quilts; no big deal except they are big and get in the way. So I pushed them off to the side as best I could. Then I climbed on the bed and yarded myself along with a fitted sheet over to the far, upper corner of the mattress. Once there I lifted the corner as best I could and tucked in. After the first corner, I slid to the other top corner and, as best I could, repeated the tucking in. Then, once more unto the breach, I slid to the lower far corner and managed to tuck that in, all the while still sitting on the bed. Finally, I got back into my wheelchair and tucked the last corner. Once that was done, I rolled to the other bottom corner to pull out wrinkles as best I could; not hospital or military quality, but good enough for me.

Next came the top sheet. Being wise in the ways of sheet folds, I placed it so that I could unfold it roughly into the shape desired, starting at the upper near corner. I made sure to leave the fold-back part at the top so I could fold it over the quilt edge when done. Then I unfolded as best I could. This time the process was almost reversed, starting at the near top then moving to the near bottom and finally to the far bottom, all while seated in my chair. The only part I had to climb abed to do was the far upper corner. I transferred my massive bulk onto the bed and did what I had to do to get that last corner in place.

Next came the quilts, first the big one and then the small one, my sailing themed quilt from my Mom's quilting group. I must confess to a certain degree of disregard for propriety in this effort. I simply flung them as best and square as I could, knowing full well that I would destroy any sense of square and neat the minute I got under them. It was kind of a throw-and-go effort, with me doing some neatness from the foot of the bed as best I could. In the end, it wasn't a bad effort. My bed was made about as neatly as that of your average 20 year old. So I climbed in and made it all messy again.

I slept well, except for the tummy ache at 3:00 AM. That was probably the second helping of Chicken Korma reminding me that I really don't need to eat everything I cook.