Back To Bed

It is a given with ALS that everything tires you out; it's just a function of the illness that you do not have the strength or endurance you once had. Even something as simple as dealing with other people can be tiring, let alone the stress of the renovations currently going on around me. This morning is a great example.

Today the tile installer is coming to work on my bathroom and the building inspector is coming to sign off on the framing and general construction. Last night I was exhausted from the busy day here, with contractors coming and going, Jim working, me doing errands and picking up supplies. Then, at the end of the day, I cooked dinner. All of this put me in exhaustion mode; I was in bed by about 9:00 PM and asleep shortly thereafter.

This morning I woke up at 7:00 AM, unable to return to sleep thanks to the dual effects of going to bed early and thinking about the various people coming today. I finally gave up at 8:00 AM even though the earliest visitor was not to arrive until 9:30 AM, a few minutes from now. I just could not get back to sleep; I lay abed rolling things over and over in my mind, a useless state. So I got up early.

I have not had a shower in my apartment for over a month now, the old one having been ripped out in order to renovate for the new wheelchair shower. In the interim I have been making use of my skills learned while sailing, the skills associated with bucket bathing and washing, as well as making use of hotel rooms or the local YMCA. This does mean, however, that I don't have the luxury of a morning shower, unless I am in a hotel. So this morning, I did not get up to enjoy a hot shower; I just got up, washed, and got dressed.

Now I sit and wait, anticipating the arrival of sub-trades and the inspector. I get anxious, wondering if they will be on time, wondering if they will get their work done today, worrying that the inspector will find something wrong, something that puts us further back in the process. It's the same worry I had in bed, but at least now I have a coffee in hand and a keyboard in front of me.

All of this is stress. Stress makes me tired. I want to go back to bed now.