Thursday, 20 March 2014

I Must Write

It's easy to tell when I am really busy here at home; my blog entries get shorter. Today is one of those kinds of days, where things are going on left, right, and center. The plumber is back working this morning; he arrived at 8:30 AM. Mike will be here soon and we will resume work on boxing in the pipes once the plumber is done. I am expecting my safety bars for the shower and toilet to arrive today. And, to top it all off, I have several hours of work to do today, real work where someone is paying me.

Jim is coming late tonight; I am not sure if I will have the energy to stay up and greet him. Between all the various things I have on the go today, and given that I am up early to start with, I can see myself running out of energy fairly soon in the evening. I am starting my day tired, as I usually do, and I expect to be completely used up by the day's activities. I've already decided to skip "Name That Tune" tonight. I just won't have the energy for it.

This is not a bad thing, this activity level. Before ALS I would have looked at a day like this and simply charged into it. Here I am still charging forward; it's just at less energetic pace. I will do the things that need to be done today; they will just take longer and may require an extra day to get there. This is where the help of my family and friends really counts, in making it so that I can still do things without having them wear me out. For this support and kindness I can barely find the words to express my gratitude. Thank you just does not seem to be enough.

Yet before all of this begins, before the hurry of the day, before the work and activity, I am still taking time to express myself, to think and write. This blog has become a beautiful obsession for me, giving each morning a moderating focus, causing me to stop before I go, to rest before I run, to think before I act. It amazes me sometimes how putting a few simple words onto paper, or in this case electronic paper, seems to force me to move outside myself, to see the world around me, to enjoy the snow or the sun, the birds and the bustle outside, the things that are happening outside my body as well as inside it.

I started this blog as therapy. It has become something more. As with all great endeavours, this one began with one purpose and has come to fill many. Busy or not, I must write, each day.

1 comment:

  1. Your beautiful obsession for writing has become the same for me reading. Because of the time difference, I always read it when I stop for lunch.Nearly every day, there is something for me to learn,a different point of view, or something to "mull over in my mind