Tuesday, 8 March 2016

Adam Went Home

Adam's gone home. Once again my small apartment is my own quiet domain, at least until Katherine walks in the door. At that point I am hustled up, organized, and ordered into action. Of course at the same time, as I sit here enjoying my coffee, she is clattering about doing dishes, cleaning up, arranging. So I am not really alone. My apartment is not really quiet, nor is it really my own domain.

Adam is a terrific guest, respectful, quiet, helpful. Between him and Katherine, I've not been able to enter my own kitchen once in the last week. He's bought groceries and liquor, all of which we've managed to consume in short order. He put a tankful of gas into my truck, a non-trivial purchase I can assure you. He helped with the laundry, and even stripped the sheets of his bed as he left this morning. And to top it all off, rather than permit me to get up in the morning to drive him to the airport, and rather than let Katherine fulfill her offer to do the same, he got a cab this morning, leaving me to sleep, a rest all too important for me.

I don't think that I have ever been that good a guest. I've certainly never helped him with chores while visiting at his home. I've perhaps put a few dishes in the dishwasher, but not many. He has been kind enough to let me cook, or at least help make a dinner in his home, but nowhere near the amount of work he put in to make it easier for me to have him as a guest. I think the only thing which I could claim even a close equality is in the purchase of a few groceries and liquor. Even then, when I was visiting him, I think he found a way to pay me for this small contribution.

It was great having him here; I will miss him. Yet as he said himself, guests are like fish; they need to be removed after a few days. Even so, here I am not more than a few hours after his departure, trying to arrange for my brother Peter to come visit. Here we were, Adam and I, off up to Edmonton for a day during his stay, so we could see my brother Jim. I am lucky to have family like this, people who will forgive my transgressions, knowing me for a lifetime. As things get worse, I am learning more and more who they really are, and how they will be there for me.


  1. Richard...My name is Hunter. I will soon be 24 and I have Cerebral Palsy, a non-progressive condition that leaves me wheelchair bound. I have had this since birth. I started reading your blog over the past few months. I now read it on a daily basis. I really like that you have the same view points that I do. I really like that you are a realist, but remain optimistic about your struggles. I understand that it can be even more of a struggle losing abilities rather than not having them to begin with. I sort of experienced this in recent years with my scoliosis, which has gotten worse over the years. It has made bending over even more difficult than it does with my CP. However, like you I try to find ways to work around it. Is your apartment handicapped accessible? Other than scotch (LOL), what kind of things do you like? Have you been able to continue hobbies you had before your diagnosis? What modification, if any, did you have to do to your vehicle to continue to drive? I do not know much about ALS, other than what I have seen on TV, but I really look forward to learning more about ALS and also learning more about you through your blog. I also have a blog if you want to check it out https://hunter-kelch.squarespace.com/ Take care, Hunter

    1. Hi Hunter.

      I took a look at your blog. I loved the picture of you at Whiskey River. That is a terrific smile. Unfortunately ALS has take most of my hobbies and preferred activities away from me. These days I like to travel as much as I can, and I plan on doing it until I can no longer move. My Ford F-150 has hand controls and a lift seat, so I can drive for a while yet. ALS is a tough disease, but so is CP. Your blog shows me a picture of a young man doing well in a tough situation. I congratulate you for your approach to living, and life.

    2. Thank you for taking the time to read my blog, that means a lot to me. Even though CP can be tough sometimes, particularly with muscle tightening and contractions, since I have always had this I just go about my day as I always have. My hobbies involve a lot of sports and since I can't play physically, I watch avidly and even helped coach when I was in middle school. I virtually play via my PS4. As you know being disabled forces you to have to find alternative ways to do something. I hope you can continue to travel for a long time. I read your blog every day, and you inspire me to live life to the fullest every day.

  2. My dear I am happy you and Adam had such a great visit. Love you

  3. Sounds like Adam went along with what works best and did what a guest, even a family member, should do and didn't think twice. I'm sure he knew three times over what it meant to both of you to spend time together and for him to make things as easy going for you as possible.