Katherine is going to Hong Kong, and possibly Tibet, for a month starting in mid-May. She will go with her sister, visit her brother and family in Hong Kong for a couple of weeks, then take her adventure excursion with her sister. I am thrilled for her. She hasn't seen her brother's family in a decade, nor has she seen many of her friends in Hong Kong for that long. It will be a wonderful trip for her.
For me, notwithstanding how happy I am for her, it will be a month of being alone without her. I wanted to figure out a way to go with her for at least a week. It means either running up my second credit card to the limit without a plan to pay, or doing some sort of fund raising campaign. I might do the credit card thing, at least for a part of the expense, but that leaves me with no emergency room should something happen. I've asked various friends about the "GoFundMe" idea, like I did for my elevator escape last year; there is limited enthusiasm for that.
Some say I should just accept the fact that I don't have any money left. Others have the temerity to chastise me for not planning better. The simple fact is that, without ALS, this would have been an easy decision for me three years ago. It would have been well within my means, without any use of credit. I could easily have gone to Hong Kong for a week, and had the money to pay. But then this stupid, fucking disease stole my future from me, even as it now steals my present.
There has been some encouragement, people who tell me to "Just Do It", but it will take about $3,000 at a minimum to "Just Do It." I don't see that happening with a GoFundMe. Also, Katherine is strongly opposed to my "begging" for money, as well as strongly opposed to me going further into debt. While I am free to do what I wish, her opinion is important to me.
In the midst of this frustrating conundrum, I've decided to try an experiment. I've put a "Donate" button on my blog. I'll leave it up for a week or so. I'm wondering if people will donate, not specifically to my going to Hong Kong, but to support my general efforts in writing. It will be interesting to see what happens.
As hard as it sounds, I think sooner or later, you were going to experience some imposed time away from Katherine. I think Katherine needs time to flourish and reminisce and catch up in Hong Kong. She especially needs to, and deserves to, travel carefree. I think the gift to her would be to wish her well on her trip, and tell her you'll do just fine where you are. I think Hong Kong is her time just for her. I think she should enjoy planning her trip without having to consider anybody else but herself.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lucille. Also, if you are there, then Katherine will need to take care of you . . . not so much of a holiday for her. Perhaps instead, you should make arrangements with other friends to visit you during this period when she will be away.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Lucille. Also, if you are there, then Katherine will need to take care of you . . . not so much of a holiday for her. Perhaps instead, you should make arrangements with other friends to visit you during this period when she will be away.
ReplyDeleteI can donate 50k delta miles.
ReplyDeleteWow! You should take those Delta miles and head to London for a few days!
DeleteNah, I got time. You go. stella7 at gmail
DeleteI think even if Katherine didn't take care of anybody for a living, or didn't take care of anybody in her family or people she cares about, she's like anybody else and just wants to chill. She can go to Tibet and explore and share as she goes or share when she gets home.
ReplyDelete