Monday 25 July 2016

Cursed Extroversion

It's been a busy few days, and a busy week to come. I'm not sleeping enough, and not sleeping well. It's just the way it is when I get too excited. Having my friends Chris and Dianne staying over is very exciting for me. Chris has been my friend for more than 30 years. I doubt if any of my children, except perhaps for Mary, can remember a time when Chris was not my friend.

He and Dianne are out today, visiting Dianne's family here in Calgary. This area is her home town, so she has lots of family nearby. In fact she and Chris could stay any number of places, so I am honoured and happy to have them here. They will stay until Wednesday.

My brother Adam is coming here as well, either tomorrow or Wednesday. I have managed to mess that up on my calendar. My original notes said he was coming on the 27th, but my follow up notes say he will be here on the 26th. No worries. I am sure we can work something out either way. Regardless of outcome, I am looking forward to Wednesday, with both Adam and Chris here. It will be a good day for me.

It continues to be the people in my life that make a difference to me. My quality of life is continuously deteriorating, but the enjoyment I get from friends and family, especially those who come to stay for a day or two, continues as a highlight of my life. These days my world is getting ever and ever smaller, like the concentric rings on a record, the needle of my life moving ever inward.

I need these people in my life, these people who have been with me for years. I need their companionship, their support, their love and caring. I need to know that my life means something, that I am not an empty shell on the vast beach of humanity, that I am more than just an old man dying of a sad disease. I need to be a person, and for me, that only really happens when others are with me. Oh curse this extroversion which is my life. It seems I need others to make me feel that life is worth living.

5 comments:

  1. As an introvert, I would argue that your extroversion is making things... I won't say easier, but I would think giving you a better coping mechanism. I need to be alone to recharge, but then my hamster-wheel brain starts turning, and I can get myself worked into a state before I know what's hit me. You seem to have a social circle you can draw strength from.

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  2. I've become more extroverted as I've had to deal with my increasing weakness. I've been shocked at how helpful and caring people are. I may become more introverted the weaker I get, but for now, injections with people truly are the highlights of my days. I enjoy your posts so much, and wish for many happy moments for you!!!

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  3. Interactions, not injections, ha ha, though sometimes they ARE like injections of energy!!

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