Insomnia

Insomnia. It seems to be a common problem for PALS. I know it is a problem for me, although I wonder if last night's lack of sleep was a rebound from the Zopiclone episode of Monday and Tuesday. I don't really know. All I know for sure is that I went to bed at 11:00 PM and was still awake at 9:00 AM this morning.

I wonder if I am becoming dependent on the Zopiclone to put me to sleep at nights. It would make sense. While the drug is not supposed to be as addictive as other sleeping pills, it is entirely possible to develop a dependence on it. It is also possible to build up a resistance to it, so that you need more and more for it to be effective. I'm trying to avoid that but my sleep patterns are so messed up these days that it seems impossible to do anything but drug myself to sleep.

It's not hard to figure out, from a removed perspective. My body and mind are in complete disharmony. My body wears out quickly, so it needs rest. My mind is alert and active, even though my body is exhausted. Between the two, it's hard to get some sort of sleep alignment, where both my mind and my body are ready to shut down. Hence the Zopiclone; it shuts my mind down when I want it to shut down, forcing sleep upon me, even when my mind says I don't need it.

There are so many "side benefits" to this disease, insomnia only being one of them. This, along with constipation, belly fat, shaking, appetite problems, and just plain frustration make it even harder to sleep at night, or to wake during the day. I'm going to try again tonight, try to get to sleep without taking a Zopiclone. However Scotch may be involved as an alternative.