Friday, 19 December 2014

I Can't Eat, Sort Of

I am in a rush today; Mom and Ray are here and we are heading out in a moment to do some necessary grocery shopping. Home care was here earlier, giving my legs a workout. Between looking after things for Mom and Ray, looking after my own morning needs, and getting exercised, I have been in and out, or rather on and off, of my bed three times already today. That's exercise for me, and what with the rush and all, I am already tired enough to go back to sleep.

This will pass. In a few minutes we will head down to the truck. We'll try to help Mom get in. She will use my lift and then, with the transfer board, slide across to the passenger side. I say "try" because at this point, with Ray having trouble with arthritis, me having ever weakening arms, and Mom having trouble with her hip, there is absolutely no certainty that this will all work. This is one of the few times I wish I had a car instead of my truck.

Grocery shopping itself will be a trial. For the last few days I have not wanted to eat. Normally when this happens to me it is a passing thing, a feeling that comes from exhaustion or from nowhere at all, gliding over me like a grey cloud, moving along soon after. This time, however, the general nausea and lack of interest in food has gone on for three days. This is a bit of a record.

It's not that I am completely without nutrition; I am taking in liquid calories in the form of milk, egg nogg and beer. I also managed to choke down a couple of cookies and a couple of pieces of cheese toast yesterday. This morning I managed a slice of Swiss Cheese and ham. This is actually a good sign; if I am able to eat anything then it means the feeling is on the way out. Yesterday afternoon you could not have forced a spoonful of food into me. Today, you can.

The real shame in all this is that I made one of my favourite meals to welcome Mom and Ray, as well as Jim who also stopped by on his way from a road trip. I made Southwest Style BBQ Ribs with Spanish Rice. I ate none of it; the others told me it was terrific. There's a bit left. Perhaps I will have it tonight. The nausea is returning, so it's a toss up right now. Who would of thought that eating would become such a chore? I love to eat, except today. And yesterday. And the day before. I am hoping for a better day tomorrow.

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