Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Resting, Sleeping

I'm tired. Arms in pain yesterday remain in pain today. My shoulders have been aching and there has been a consistent pain where my spine meets my head, this has been going on for a couple of days now. On a pain scale of 1 to 10, it's only a 2 or 3; it's not bad, it's just persistent. And it makes me tired.

It may not be visible to the casual observer, but I am beginning to reduce my social calender, beginning to say "no" to things, a great many things, I might have done in the past, even the recent past. It's just getting more and more tiring, more and more difficult. On top of it all, when I do go to something, there is a pretty good chance I won't be able to participate simply because of my limitations. It's getting to the point where it's getting easier to stay at home, notwithstanding my love of social interaction.

With the busy Christmas season upon us, there are so many things going on that my schedule is full regardless. This will all end in a couple of weeks. Soon enough the cold nights of January will be here. I will most likely want to be at home rather than forcing a wheelchair across ice and snow to get into a social setting which is most likely poorly setup for someone in my situation. When January 1 arrives, my family will all have gone home. The quiet of winter will descend both on the city and on me.

New Year's Eve is a good example of this. I have been invited to a couple of events and there have been numerous suggestions for other things I might do. In the end, however, I suspect I will just stay at home. It will be the first time in a couple of weeks where my apartment will be mine and mine alone, empty and silent except for me cluttering about. Staying home, after such a busy holiday time, will probably seem like the best idea.

It's all about the energy that it takes to do things and the results of that output. It takes a lot of energy to be an extrovert as I am. I just don't have that much energy. I am getting tired, consistently and constantly. I think the time has come for me to spend more time at home, resting, sleeping. I've hit this stage of my journey.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Dear Richard I am so sad about this retraction of your life but I am eager to see you tomorrow. love