Interview With CTV, Again

I've just completed an interview with CTV News Calgary about Physician Assisted Dying. It's left me shaking and exhausted, not because of emotion, but because of the physical exertion of actually doing the interview. It's a lot more than just sitting there answering questions. They want shots of me moving about, transferring from my wheelchair to my couch, rolling in from my deck. All of this takes effort and energy. Then, on top of it all, I need to appear composed and intelligent while on camera.

It's another reminder of both how far I have come down this road, and how short the road is in front of me. Each activity feels like I am running a marathon, or at least a mile or two. By the time I make a transfer, I am in a full sweat. After working over the ramps to get in from the deck, my arms are shaking from the effort. And even as I talk, my voice becomes weaker the longer the sentence. Maybe that's a good thing; I am forced to speak in sound bites.

Doing these kinds of interviews is much more than my natural tendency to seek media attention. Yes, I am a media whore. I love being on camera. I actually think I have something useful to say. But there is much more to it than that. What I am living through is drastic, a story in itself. Yet the other issues around it, things like Physician Assisted Dying, or access to social resources, are in themselves issues that reach far beyond living with ALS. There are things that need to be heard, stories which need to be told. I can tell them.

These interviews raise public awareness, not just of ALS but of the plight of so many people living on the margins of life, living with terrible illness, living in poverty. These interviews allow me to put what I think is a reasonably intelligent face, if not a pretty face, to the challenges of living with limited resources and with a limited life expectancy. These interviews allow me to share my story, as story shared again by so many others in our world. I am not unique; I am one of many.

I will keep doing media interviews as long as I can, and for as long as they will have me. At some point I will no longer be a part of any story. My story will no longer be relevant and the media will move on to the next shiny object. That's okay with me. I'll be done by then too.