Home care came this morning. It was Michael, one of my regular Home Care Aides. He was not here to help me with my shower, nor to put on various creams and powders in places I can no longer easily reach. He was not here to do my exercises, to help me maintain flexibility in the dead and dying muscles of my body. He was here, essentially, to baby sit me; to ensure I was up and dressed and to make me some breakfast.
The truth is that I probably need a bit of baby-sitting while Katherine is out of town. If I have no reason to get up in the mornings, I will often stay in bed until well past noon, dozing on and off. Once I do get up, there is the effort of going to the bathroom, followed by the even greater effort of getting dressed. After all that I usually look at my bed and think about returning to sleep. The other failing for me in solo mornings is eating; by the time I am up and dressed I am far too exhausted to bother with making breakfast. I usually just have a coffee and, if I have the energy, perhaps something cheese from the fridge.
I am not lazy. It's not that I don't want to get up, go to the bathroom, get dressed, start my day. It's not that I don't want to make a simple meal for myself. It's that I am exhausted by the time I get to it. ON days when I don't have exercises, Katherine is usually here, making breakfast for me. On days when I have exercises, I rarely have a proper breakfast. Often I don't eat until Katherine shows up, often not before dinner. I'm just to worn out to bother.
So while she is away for another 22 days, I will have exercises on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, I will have a light breakfast. And on weekends I will sleep in, resting until it's far to late in the day to contemplate anything other than perhaps making dinner. Or maybe I'll have company, as I do this weekend. Or maybe a party, as I did last Saturday. You see, I can keep myself busy once I am up and about. It's the mornings that sap my energy. So perhaps I do need a baby-sitter a couple of times a week.
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