Feeling Good

I am feeling better today, almost good enough to say I am feeling good. It's interesting how some days I can feel like I am improving, knowing full well that this is not the case. What I think happens is that there are days when I feel less challenged by things, days when I feel like I can handle it better. Today is one of those days.

What causes these "good days" and "bad days"? I am pretty sure I know what it is. It's the same thing that affects other people, the same thing that makes each of you have those same good days and bad days. It's rest, diet, and taking care of myself.

Yesterday I did all the right things. I got a good night's sleep; I slept in in the morning. I took it easy during day; all I did was go to a movie, get a haircut and do a bit of grocery shopping. I ate properly yesterday; I had a light breakfast and a sushi lunch. I wasn't hungry at all at dinner time so I ate very little. Then, after watching the Canucks lose a hockey game, I went to bed and got another good night's sleep.

So I guess the things that make me feel good are pretty normal. Eating well, looking after myself, getting plenty of rest, not pushing it; these are the things that help. The tie between the emotional side and the physical side becomes more evident too. Feeling better physically helps me feel better about myself, my life and my condition.

What makes this so tough is me. I am used to going until I drop, then going again the next day. I am used to having lots of energy and strength. I am used to using my body like a machine and having that machine self-repair overnight. For my whole life my body has just plain worked. When I would break it, it would fix itself. When it was tired, I could always count on my body to push a bit farther, work a bit harder. My body just kept going.

These days I think of myself as an Energizer Bunny with small batteries. I can still go, but now I need to stop more often. My spirit works like always; it's just the physical engine that refuses to cooperate. I need more sleep, I have to "behave" and watch my drinking and diet. I can't depend on the machine anymore; I have to go easier on it.

So much for eating and drinking whatever I want. That experiment has ended. Too bad.