I am feeling better today, slowly rising up from the depths of fear and despair. This is not bi-polar, not dramatic, not pillar to post. This is the steady effort of focusing on the now, on the present, and working to realize that much can happen before the end of my life.
My life is an ocean, a persistent sea that rises and falls with the storms of emotion that pass through it. I can feel the pressure rise as the storm reaches me. I can feel the tension mount, the crackle of lightening in the distance. As the clouds of fear fly towards me, bursting upon me, the waves of emotion rise up and batter all about me.
I am not a ship upon that sea; I am that sea. I can be calm on the surface yet filled with turbulence below. I can be full of life yet as dead as stone. I am rich beyond compare yet poor as a starfish. I am crowded yet alone. I know that the nature of my being, my persistence, will take me to places I never expected to go.
My tide is ebbing, flowing ever outward exposing the ever distancing shore of my existence. I am bounded by forces beyond my control, shaped by events that I cannot change. All I can do is press on, shifting endlessly, meeting the winds and shoals, moving.
These storms that pass in and out of my life are the things that shape my surface. Deep down, beneath the waves, is me. I am deeper, richer and stronger than the buffeting waves on top. These storms pass, leaving behind a shaken surface. These emotional waves cresting atop my soul will pass over me. When they are done, when the storm is over, I am calm, steady, safe and secure my own spirit.
Today I got up. Today I went to work. Today I persisted. Tonight I will sleep. Tomorrow I will awaken again. While the winds and storms of time and tide buffet me all around, I will simply be. I will persist. I will persist until I can persist no more. And then I will return from the rock of land that we call life. My spirit will flow into the seas again.
Today, for today, I will let this calm be part of me. I will not be afraid.
After the storm, the calm is appreciated even more. Bobbing up and down on the ocean of life is always a voyage with highs and lows. Just remember that you will rise out of the troughs to crest a new wave...
ReplyDelete...except the last one. And you will never know for sure which is the last one. None of us do!
I like the analogy, Richard. I bet you could tell.
You are truly an artist of words!
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