Monday, 28 December 2015

Blog Spam

I get a lot of SPAM comments in my blog, virtually all of them attempting to sell me some sort of miracle, magical cure for ALS. You don't need to read much of them to quickly realize they are written by someone who's English is beyond just bad, someone who has stolen an email for AIDS or some other tragic illness and simply reworded it for ALS. Some of them are for specific products, like mattresses or shoes or compression socks. Some of them just start out strange, and get worse from there. I thought it might be fun to share some of them. Here is on that came in the other day, one of the strange love potion type spam posts

"After being in relationship with Wilson for seven years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that don't believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I meant a spell caster called Dr Zuma zuk and I email him, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before three days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we"

I get a lot of these spell caster type SPAM comments. Most of them have the decency to at least attempt to reference ALS in their content. This guy didn't even try. I am sure the good Dr. Zuma zuk is a powerful spell caster. I'm just not so sure I want Wilson to come back to me. After all, Wilson was a volley ball, right?

Then I get the ones which are, at best, poorly edited cut and past jobs from AIDS emails, like this one.

"I am Happy to Thank the dr. Momodu for his good work I really believe ALS have cure I was ALS positive over since 1year plus before I come across a comment dr.Momodu that he have cure to any disease and virus but when I saw it i have it in mind that he can’t cure ALS I just decided to give a try I contact him that night lucky to me he said yes but I don’t believe him I think it was a scam or some thing like that but I still hold on to see the work of dr.Momodu if he is saying the true he ask for different things and some question about me I give him all the detail he needed and I wait to see his reply to my problem after all the things is done he ask me to go for check up I went for HIV test I cant believe I was negative the medicine doctor was surprise and doctor even ask for dr Momodu email which i give to him, he is help people that contact him also he can still help you on your cure thanks dr.Momodu for helping me for the cure at this young age if you need help contact him now"

Note that the proponent for Dr. Momodu completely failed to remove the reference to HIV tests. I wonder if someone has told this poor fellow that HIV testing has nothing to do with ALS. I love the part where the writer references the "medicine doctor". I'm thinking this is as opposed to the witch doctor, which I suspect Dr. Momodu is one of, as are his compatriots in other SPAM posts, Dr. Akhere, Dr. Iguega, and Dr. Agbegbu. I am sure there are many more of them too.

The next sample is very cool, as long as you are a Dan Brown fan; that's Dan Brown, the author of the novels The Lost Symbol, The Da Vinci Code, Angels & Demons, Deception Point, and Inferno. Here you go, and promise me you won't laugh until you've finished it.

"WELCOME TO THE GREAT BROTHERHOOD ILLUMINATI KINGDOM, WHERE YOU FOUND ALL KINDS OF HAPPINESS BLESSING JOY IN LIFE.Are you a business man, politician, artist,worker, student and you want to become rich,wealthy and famous to make your wishes come true in life. You can achieve your dreams, Powerful and famous in the whole world, Join the great brotherhood Illuminati online today and get the sum of 500,000 dollar with a free home any where you choose to live in the world and also get 200,000 dollar monthly as salary. But all these will be given to you after seeing your interest, seriousness and willingness. Email: If you are interested, kindly fill the following information given below" Full name: Country: State of origin: Occupation: Date of birth: Sex: Address: Tel no: Email address: Note that you are to attach a passport of your image, tell us little about yourself and your purpose of wanting to become a member of the GREAT BROTHERHOOD ILLUMINATI..."

There is just nothing I can say about this, except perhaps to question why they need a "passport of my image". What the hell is that? Oh, and all the other personal stuff too. For God's sake, they are the "GREAT BROTHERHOOD ILLUMINATI KINGDOM". Aren't they supposed to know this stuff already?

My favourite has to be the following SPAM post. I class it under the "What The Hell" category. I get these on a regular basis. I'll let you figure out why I go "what the hell" when I get one.

"Nice Blog and article. Thanks for sharing.. Baca Artikel Menarik Kami Obat Pembesar Penis – Produk vimax adalah salah satu obat pembesar alat vital yang sangat manjur untuk menambah panjang ukuran penis dan memperbesar ukuran penis. Para pria harus menggunakan obat memperbesar penis ini untuk meningkatkan gairah seks. Vimax asli merupakan salah satu produk yang sang terkenal hingga kini masih banyak orang yang menggunakan pembesar penis ini untuk meningkatkan kejantanan pria. Manfaat vimax izon selain berfungsi untuk meningkatkan gairah seksual dan juga untuk memperpanjang ukuran penis, vimax canada ini juga akan menambah daya tahan tubuh serta memperpanjang durasi hubungan intim. Obat pembesar penis vimax pills ini juga di rekomendasi oleh ahli kesehatan untuk menambah gairah hubungan pasutri. Karena web ini merupakan web sebagai Review saja jadi utk pemesanan vimax asli canada. buka aja di website: Mau Artikel Lebih Menarik Lagi Baca : Cara membesarkan penis "

The only part I can figure out is the Vimax penis pills. I'm pretty sure this comment has nothing to do with ALS, or my blog. I'm guessing the English part at the beginning is pro forma, just a sincere and pleasant introduction prior to the sales job that follows.

It's all in a day's work, filtering out and removing this kind of nonsense from my blog comments. I've done the best I can to keep them from proliferating. I do the best I can to stop from spreading this disease, not ALS, the disease of SPAM. And I get a good laugh now and again, just reviewing the stupidity, idiocy, and ignorance of them all. On the other hand, I have to ask myself if these posts ever work. After all, P.T. Barnum was only half-right. There is a sucker born, not every minute, but seemingly every second.

1 comment:

  1. I havent had a good belly laugh like that in quite sometime ,thanks