A Simple TV Stand

I've been frustrated of late, making a big deal about wanting a new TV stand. I feel like I need to justify myself in this want, as I will be asking people for money at some point, and I don't want them pointing at something as frivolous as a TV stand and asking my why I spent my money that way, and now I'm asking for more. This whole blog entry is a good example of the complexity of ALS and the way it affects my life, making simple things complicated, throwing normal logic out the window and replacing it with ALS stupidity. It's so fucking aggravating.

The truth is that I have a perfectly good TV stand, for now. The other truth is that there is a very good reason for me wanting another one, it's just really complicated. You can pick a lot of holes in my rationale if you want. But nonetheless, here goes an exercise which, by its very nature, will touch the nerve of dependency in me, pushing me to irritation, and then anger.

Let's start first with my existing TV stand; it's not so much a TV stand as it is a coffee table from Walmart, made with fake wood and faux wood covering. It's a low slung affair, intended for use in the living room, not really as a TV stand. It has the table top and a full width shelf below. It works for me as of now, with the TV on the top, along with the bass speaker and front speaker for my sound system, as well as the Internet modem and TV controller from my cable supplier. The second shelf, the lower one, has my XBox resting on top of my Blu-Ray player. The rest of the shelf is taken up by storage of games, CD's, and DVD's.

So, the first step in this logic chain is what is happening with my TV cable supplier. In June my low cost promotional package from Telus Optik TV will come to an end, as will my low cost promotional package for Telus Internet. At that time my monthly cost will go from $65 a month up to as high as $160 a month. At that point I am going to have to decide what to do to get that cost back down. I'm pretty sure I will just eliminate the cable TV portion of my package and switch completely to Internet based entertainment content such as Netflix or web delivered TV.

That move will eliminate my Optik TV control box and make my Blu-Ray player my principal entertainment delivery system. However the Blu-Ray player is on the bottom shelf. In order to get the remote control to reach it, I have to lean over in my wheelchair and use my lowered right arm to point the control at the device. Leaning over in my wheelchair is rapidly becoming nearly impossible for me as I lose all the strength in my core muscles. With my current TV stand, I cannot move the Blu-Ray player up to the top shelf. It's too big to fit with the TV.

So this means my main entertainment device will require that I re-position myself, and my wheelchair, every time I want to select a program, change the volume, or adjust any other setting. For me, that is difficult and tiring. I need to keep things easy, not make them harder. Overall the best solution to this is to get a different TV stand, one with three shelves, a higher profile, and a mounting stand for the TV which will allow it to swivel.

So I want a new TV stand. It's not a necessity. I could get by with this one for a while yet, although one day even this will have to change. But it's not just about need. It's about using my energy carefully, eliminating barriers and difficulties in my life. It's also about $200, and that's my real issue. I can buy it on my credit card, but I still feel like I have to gain the approval of those who help me financially, to have them understand that this is not a frivolous purchase, that there is a real reason and rationale behind this want of mine.

Several people have suggested that I look for a used one online, that I might find one that works for a fraction of the cost for a new one. That's true, if you have the energy to look and the ability to adapt to something which is "almost good enough". I really hate the risk of buying something used which might work, but with no return option if it doesn't. Plus I really don't like buying used stuff; that's an emotional issue for me as much as anything else.

The other emotional issue is the general sense of anger and frustration in this whole situation. A few months back if I wanted a TV stand, I would just go out and buy it. A few months ago, I could lean over just fine; the remote wasn't a problem. A few months ago I wouldn't have been worried about $160 for TV and Internet. I few months ago I was supposed to be dead. And all I want is a decent fucking TV stand!