Another Train

I'm sitting at the table, typing away. Katherine is in the kitchen, tidying, puttering. She's already had a go at re-arranging, or re-positioning, the new TV stand. I just made lunch; grilled Swiss Cheese sandwiches, fried garlic sausage, and salad. It's a completely domestic scene, and I love it. I love to hear her in the background as I type, to hear the noises of her activity, to hear the sounds of dishes, pots and pans, cutlery; to hear the fridge open and close as she puts food away, cleaning up the counters from my cooking mess.

This really is a good life for me, with her in it, with simple things making my life easier. This quiet, almost bucolic life takes away my tension, makes it easier for me to deal with the real challenges I face on a daily basis, things like failing arms, fights with the toilet, struggles in my wheelchair. It's this calm that means the most to me, girding me up for what must, inevitably, come next. I've eaten. I've had coffee.

There are real challenges for me these days. My left arm is sufficiently weak that I am considering having home care come in every morning to assist in my transfer from my wheelchair to the toilet, and back again. Another alternative is getting a mobile lift, one that can get me out of my chair as needed. It's only at the thinking stage yet; implementation will come soon enough.

The other thing on my mind lately has been going into a care home. I certainly don't need to yet, and my medical team encourages me to stay at home, to live at home with the help of home care. The only real advantage to a care home is access to constant care, and an ease on my financial strain. Right now I find myself consistently short of about $500 a month. I'm managing, thanks to the help of Katherine and others. But if I went into a care home, the fees would be limited because I am on a fixed income. I would have a bit more money to spare.

The major disadvantages of a care home revolve around my social life, the ability to have dinner parties, and living with a population which would primarily be substantially older than me. I'm not sure I like the idea of being the youngster in a care community. There are other issues too, but I am just beginning this thought process, this realization that the train is getting closer and closer. Soon it will arrive, and I will leave. That's how all this works.