Single Again

I am going to keep this short. It's tough to say. Katherine and I are no longer a couple; we have parted ways. I am tremendously saddened by this. She has brought a great deal of joy into my life over the last 18 months. As my brother said recently, "she is a gem". It is my sincere hope that this situation can be changed, and that we can once again be a couple, but I do not know what the future holds.

My relationship difficulty highlights another much larger problem for People with ALS. There seems to be a higher rate of relationship failure with PALS. This disease does so much more than destroy the person. It destroys families. It destroys finances. It destroys relationships. In another ALS blog, I recently read the statistic that the divorce rate in couples with a disability in the family hovers around 90%. I'm not sure about that number, but the failure of relationships in ALS is certainly higher than most.

There are a couple of basic reasons for this high failure rate. First of all, ALS and other debilitating illnesses create an incredible amount of pressure and stress on a relationship. If there are any weak seams, the fabric of the relationship will quickly be torn asunder. Secondly, the relationship of a caregiver versus a lover is drastically different. It is inevitable that the relationship will change with ALS, and once one thing changes, all others are called into question.

It's not ALS that breaks up a relationship, or at least not very often. There are cases where partners simply cannot deal with the disease. More often though it's the typical things; money issues, jealously, trust issues, faithfulness, even violence both emotional and physical. These things may or may not have happened without ALS; they just happen more with ALS.

My relationship status has changed. I'm not going to blame it on ALS. I will say this. It's a lot harder to maintain things in life with the added burden of this illness. I just don't have the strength for so many things. I'm deeply saddened, and single once again.