Chronic Fatigue

Once again I find myself exhausted. It comes as no surprise. I hardly slept at all on Sunday night after my toilet tumble. On Monday Kate did all the driving, but it was still a 12 hour trip, something which can wear one out all on its own. Last night I got about 10 hours of sleep, just enough to allow me to wake up at 10:30 AM and get out of bed at about noon today.

Almost as soon as I was up and ready, a friend and I went down to High River, a drive of about one hour from my place. She had some errands to do, then we drove back. As I pulled into my garage, I needed to rest a moment before getting out of the truck. I fell asleep! Right there in the driver's seat! At least I was parked at the time.

This exhaustion is the constant in living with ALS. Every PALS I have ever spoken to has talked about being tired all the time, of chronic fatigue. That's what I have; chronic fatigue. It's not a syndrome, it's a part of having ALS. We PALS are just tired all the time. That's how it is.

The tiredness is not just physical fatigue; it's emotional fatigue too. The physical stuff is hard enough to deal with, where everything we do takes twice as long, is twice as difficult as it was before, until the day arrives when we can do nothing at all, and it's still tiring. Just breathing becomes an effort. Then there is the emotional stuff, the never ending flood of emotions, exaggerated by ALS. What is a small matter for most people becomes a giant matter when the constant emotional battle of ALS is added to it.

So, for the last few days, I have been pushed both physically and emotionally. No wonder I'm tired. I need a rest. I'm going to bed soon and I plan on sleeping until noon tomorrow. The I have to go see the neurologist to find out how the pulled muscles from my toilet tumble might impact my ability to function, both short and long term. That's both physically and emotionally tiring, all at the same time.