Friday, 2 September 2016

No Glasses

I have poor vision. As I age, it's getting worse, just as it does in so many people. This has nothing to do with ALS; it's just another one of the many facts of life I have to deal with. On the other hand, I suffer from insomnia combined with exhaustion. It sounds weird, and it is. My body can be totally exhausted but my mind is whipping along at top speed. So I take the dreaded Zopiclone to help with my sleep.

Today both of those issues collided. Last night I went to a movie with friends. I had a terrific time; the movie was a blast. Then, after the movie, I took the CTrain one station down the line towards my apartment. I got off at a station called Dalhousie. Normally from this station I would head home down the roads of the Varsity area, which are on the west side of the tracks. This time the night was pleasant, it felt good to be outside, so I went the long way, along the east side of the tracks through the Dalhousie pathways.

It was a safe and wonderful ride. The pathways are all smooth and run between the condos and playgrounds in this part of town. I air was just cool enough to remind me that summer was almost over, but not so cool as to have the edge of fall. I could smell the fresh cut grass, the scent of evergreens. There was moisture in the air, the threat of rain readying itself for today's arrival. I could hear the birds flitting from tree to tree in the near darkness. see the prairie Hares bounding about, watch the other people taking the paths to and fro, enjoying the last hours of these last summer days.

Rather than 20 minutes by the fast route, I powered along in my chair this longer path, taking about 35 minutes to get home. By the time I arrived, it was after 10:00 PM. More importantly, I was sufficiently stimulated by the PWC roll home, that I knew I could not sleep, even though I was tired. So I watched some TV for a while. After a couple of hours, I finally felt like I might sleep, just maybe. So I went to bed, taking a Zopiclone for sure.

This morning my HCA arrived on time, at 10:30 AM, to help me with my shower and exercises. But the Zopiclone was still working on me, making me groggy, unable to focus. So he suggested I go back to bed when he left, that I sleep for a couple more hours. This I did.

I awoke at about 2:30 PM, finally free of the hypnotic effects of the drug. I rolled over to go pee in my jug, the real reason for my waking. Then I sat up, or at least tried to sit up, so I could re-dress myself. I realized at that moment that I was not wearing my glasses. No problem; they should be on the dresser beside me. Except no, they weren't where I usually put them. It was also that moment when I realized I had absolutely no idea where I did put them.

Often times when I have a nap, I take them off and just rest them beside me in bed, so I pulled the blanket aside, tore the bedclothes apart, tossed the pillows aside. No glasses. Perhaps they fell off the bed while I was sleeping. I leaned as far over the edge of the bed as I could, nearly sliding to my doom. I clutched the night table beside the bed, holding with all my might, peering into the dust beneath my bed. No glasses. I pushed myself back up using my head as a lift on the night table, using what strength was in my arms, and then stared intently around the floor, as far as my poor vision would permit. No glasses. And I still could not for the life of me remember putting them down.

I got so desperate that I considered calling a friend to come and help me find them. I reached for my phone, which was, thankfully, where it usually rests while I rest. It was then that I finally saw them, pushed further down the dresser, hiding behind a picture I keep of Katherine and I in New Orleans, beside my bedside clock, hidden just well enough that I would not see them unless I got close. With my very poor vision, and slow newly wakened mind, they sort of melded into the jungle of pills bottles and cream containers also at my bedside. At last I had found them. I can see again. And the Zopiclone has finally worn off.

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