Low Functioning Day

I am having a low functioning day today. This is as opposed to a non-functioning day. A low functioning day means I still have the strength to write, and possibly do something if accompanied by someone who will help me with doors and such. Non-functioning days are those where there is no blog entry, mostly.

Here is a good example of the difference. Today my HCA started my laundry. I don't know what state it is in right now, wet in the washer or dry in the dryer. I don't know how far she got. I also don't really care. I am going to ask my next HCA to check it for me. She will take it the next step, whatever that may be. My functioning level is enough to be aware of it, to ask for help with it. A non-functioing day would be where I don't even ask the HCA to start the laundry, where I just give up the day without a fight.

It's not that there is any particular fight on a low-functioning day, at least not more than the usual ALS fight to keep going. It just feels like a non-functioning day is a fight to even move about. At least today I can do that, move about. I've even had visitors; the visitor from the ALS Society fixed my wheelchar headrest along with putting a screw into the the A/C window panel so I could start the A/C.

My neighbour came over to visit. She has terminal lung cancer, as my Dad did when he died. She is in that final stage where the doctors have given her a couple of months or less to live. It's kind of odd; we compare notes on the dying process. Hers is faster than mine. I envy her. Inspite of being very weak, she can still walk as she did today, from her apartment two doors down into mine. I envy her. She has a husband beside her who, despite increasing dementia issues, loves her. I envy her.

Perhaps that is what a low-functioning day really is. I don't have the energy to do much, except to waste emotional energy on wishing my illness wouldn't leave me in such a limited state. Oh well, I am hoping to get out shortly, over to Safeway. David is coming for dinner but I've asked him if he can help me get through my apartment doors to do some shopping. That might even be functioning.