Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Desparately Longing

"Have you ever found yourself surrounded by people somehow desperately longing for some sort of human connection? Knowing that your life is full of friends and family who care about you, but also knowing that you are actually utterly and completely alone? It's sort of debilitating in a way that allows you to keep moving. No matter how far I reach, there is no one within arms length."

I did not write this. It wasn't written by someone with ALS, nor even someone struggling with the kinds of physical or emotional challenges those of us cursed with some kind of illness face. No, it was written by a young person who struggles with something else entirely, that kind of aloneness we face in our modern, active world, someone who is surrounded yet alone, someone who has much in life, yet is missing that last, most important piece; a personal love relationship with that one special individual.

It's an easy feeling for many of us to understand, we singles who are seeking that other half, that person who makes us feel complete and whole. We struggle to find that right person in a world filled with "almost", or more likely "not even close." We, the single, seek to find Mr. or Mrs. Right, or even Mr. Right Now, without great success. It just seems we are surrounded by those who love us in the purest, filial sense, yet we are incapable of uncovering that person with whom we want to spend all of our time.

I see this around me a lot; I hang out with a lot of single people. Trust me, those in solid, working relationships would rather spend time with each other than hang around with singles. Those couples who enjoy the same pastimes and pursuits as I do, such as Trivia and Name That Tune, come as a pair. Even when one comes alone, you know they are there because they simply cannot be with that other special person right now; he or she is at work, or out of town, or otherwise unavailable.

It's a kind of tragedy, to be surrounded yet feel so alone; to be within a phone call or a visit from any number of people, yet to feel like your outstretched hand is untouched. It hurts to waken in the middle of the night to realize the other side of your bed is empty, to get up in the morning and make coffee for one, to sit at home in the evening getting ready for bed knowing that your last thoughts will be of loneliness, of desperate longing.

This is not a condition of illness. It is a human condition. We seek that which fulfills us. This is why I believe we were meant to be in relationships, for that unique kind of fulfillment you can only get through a truly loving relationship. We want it; we yearn for it. Yet for so many of us it remains completely, utterly, thoroughly elusive.


  1. I am so sad for you my dearest boy. Your pain is so evident.

  2. Know the feeling well Richard. Als been gone 2 years on the 23rd and I still feel like I dont fit anywhere. Just someone to hug, hold, and wake up to in the morning, no strings attached would be so wonderful.I mostly sleep in single beds or stack my laundry on the other side of the bed so that it doesnt feel so empty. Pathetic eh!