Thursday, 29 January 2015

Good Things In My Life

It would be easy, in fact it is easy, for me to forget, in the midst of all the difficulties of my life, that there are a good many things that happen to me day upon day which bring me joy, which bring a smile to my face, which keep me going even in the face of my ever diminishing capacity. There are so many things, both large and small, which add, one upon the other, to the happiness which makes this most unbearable of illnesses bearable.

Today, for example, I got to drive my daughter Kate to the airport. Many would find this a chore, a task taking time out of a busy life, something troublesome. For me it gave the pleasure of a drive in the warm, Calgary sunshine, a chance to talk with Kate while we drove, an opportunity to get out and about when so much gets in the way of it. Today I got to spend time with one of my children, something I cherish whenever it is possible, fully wishing I could do more often. It gave me the opportunity to smile at her humour, listen to her career struggles, share in her excitement of heading off to Toronto to spend time with a treasured friend. Regardless of ALS, I will get to be with Kate and my other children, and my grandchildren, perhaps many times yet.

I have a party to attend on Saturday and I am headed out to Name That Tune tonight. The excitement and fun of an evening with friends is another thing that will continue long into my decline with ALS. I trust my group, feeling certain that they will do all they can to include me as times get tougher for me. Tonight we will talk, laugh, tell stories and share our lives with one another. On Saturday night we will do the same again. I gain energy from these social engagements, one of the pleasures of being an extrovert. To be out and about is another thing I can, and will, do for some time to come. And when I can no longer be out and about, I have faith that those who love me will bring their energy into my home, into my life.

On Monday a woman I have never met, through the hands of a joint friend, gave me a gift of $100. This generosity, this gift with no attachment, reminds me that I have so much for which to give thanks. I am a giver, not an asker. I could never ask someone to give me this kind of a gift; I would wait for it to be offered and gratefully accept, and perhaps not even all the time with that. I took this money and bought groceries today, the extra money allowing me to get some things I love but have not purchased lately, some tuna steaks, steelhead fillets, and red snapper. I miss having fish for dinner; now, thanks to an unknown person's kindness, I can enjoy something special.

There are lots of good things in my life. Some will stay forever, such as the time spent with my children and my friends, Others will pass away as my capacity passes away. There will come a time when I will no longer be able to drive in the sunshine, when I will no longer be able to shop for my own groceries, when I will no longer be able to enjoy a fine meal. For now I choose to live in this moment, when these things can bring me joy. When I think about tomorrow, I do my best to think about that which will not pass away, days with those who love me, times with those who care, moments with those who stand beside me as I walk this most difficult of pathways.

1 comment:

  1. life is about living and cherishing the moments <3