Dream Chair

Last night was not a good night, at least not for sleep. It was a great evening before bedtime, with Dan and Anisa here to do a little wine bottling and to enjoy dinner. I'm trying to do more small group things. It's easier on me. It also means no more big wine bottling parties; just parties. The wine bottling will become a small group thing done with a lot less pressure.

It was afterwards that last night got difficult. I managed to get to sleep okay, but I was up every hour or two, not to pee, just awake for no good reason. Actually there might have been a good reason. I was having bad dreams again last night, the confusing ones that are difficult to explain and even more difficult to understand. The only real significant part of my dreams last night is that I had one where I was in a wheelchair.

This wasn't a one shot deal. In this dream I was in a wheelchair and my older brother, Adam, was wheeling me into a bank where we were doing a project involving network and other wiring. Why he was there, I don't know. Not his kind of project. Why I was there, also I don't know, since I did nothing but sit, slumped down, in the chair. That is, until I had to go pee. Then the dream went off on a tangent and I woke up, to go pee.

The whole wheelchair thing, the whole dream, repeated itself when I went back to sleep. Me, slumped in my wheelchair, Adam pushing me into the bank to see someone important, me waking up to go pee, only this time I didn't wake up and didn't have to pee, so the dream went off on a tangent again.

For me the whole issue is that I am in a wheelchair in my dream. This is a first for me. Never before have I been in a wheelchair in my dream. I've had the cane in a dream, but not the chair. I think my subconscious is finally integrating the idea of me being in a chair. On the other hand, I did not stay in the chair; I got up and walked out of the bank meeting to find a bathroom, while in my dream. My thinking is my subconscious may realize I am in the chair, but really doesn't like it. My conscious mind feels that way too.