Kate's Helping Me Today

I'm shaking, almost vibrating. It's not ALS, not directly. It's anger. I burst out in anger at a chair which had not been put back into place last night. I had a moment of internal rage as Kate easily moved the table and put the chair back to where it belongs. And now that moment of internal, plus a bit of external, anger has left me shaking. ALS is helping a bit too.

It is so frustrating for me these days. I see people doing things I once did easily but now cannot do at all, or can only do slowly, with great effort. Silly things, like filling the Keureg pod holder or moving a chair. Challenging things which I could once do with ease, like rotating my mattress or cleaning the spare bedroom; these things are impossibilities now.

We, my friends and I, had a party here last night. They, especially Anne, cleaned up afterwards, putting most things away, some where they belonged, some not. Anne is really good about this; if she doesn't know where to put it, she asks. Micheal, my Home Care Aide, came in this morning at 10:00 AM. I told him I wasn't getting up. He laughed, knowing full well I was suffering the effects of the night before.

He asked what he could do to help me. I asked him to tidy some more in the living room and kitchen. I plummeted into sleep once again. While I was asleep, he emptied my urine jugs, filled my water jug, and went to work on the living room and kitchen. When I finally got up, hours after Micheal had gone, I saw he had left some things on the counter. Not knowing where they went, he did what he knows I want done; he left them for me to put away. This is a good thing.

Now that Kate is here, she will help me with the last of things. In this I am blessed; rarely am I truly left alone to a task without help. She will help me turn my mattress. She will help me put the Power Wheelchair back where it belongs. She will help me with a few things in the kitchen. Mostly, most importantly, she will be here, understanding what it is for me to deal with my life now, helping me make the most of things.