It's been a tough day today, in terms of disease impact. Today I made the final decision to hang up my car keys, or rather my truck keys. This marks a substantial decision as I deal with living with ALS. My truck has been my life, and my lifeline. While the last few months have seen a steady decline in upper arm strength, I thought I might get through until at least November, perhaps even December. Alas, this is not to be.
There's an important note here. When I left my wife, the first thing I did was order my new dream truck - a Ford F150 with EcoBoost engine, long bed, King Cab, 4 X 4, and a full towing package. My plan was to get a small trailer for hunting, then enjoy summers in the woods and fall at the campsite. I thought this truck would last me for at least a decade. I also thought it might be the last time I get something like this.
It turns out I was correct on that account. This is the last vehicle I will ever own, the last thing I will ever drive. That last drive took place a couple of weeks ago. I was worried then, and I have gone further downhill in my arms. I hurts to lose this bit of independence and freedom. I've never felt so good as when I had the tiller in my hand, sailing my sailboat. The next best thing was driving down a highway, seeing things I have never seen before.
The truth I have to face is that this is just one of many other changes coming over the next few months. My arms are on a path to fail completely. My core muscles are almost completely gone. I can't pick up even the slightest thing and raise it above my shoulders. Tossing my blankets over myself is something I can barely do anymore, let alone lift a pillow to adjust it when I am laying on it.
There's more, more examples I can give, more sad tales I can tell. Yet here I am, figuring out ways to live without a truck, to get around in my power wheelchair, to get others to take me places using my truck. I'll likely keep it until February when the insurance runs out. On the other hand, the handicapped vehicle shop knows I am looking to sell. They might find a buyer sooner. Then it will really be gone from my life.
Have read so many adventures with you in that truck.... certainly sounds like you sure got many wonderful memories from your travels.... I'm sorry this enjoyment has come to a end. In fact it sucks......
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry. I feel very sad for you and this loss of independence and mobility. Thank you for continuing to share your story.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Richard.
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you...but so glad you've had some wonderful trips and memories made in your truck adventures!
ReplyDeleteI trust your family and friends will adapt and find ways to make you smile. As always, I look forward to reading your blog daily. Bless you ☺
Richard, new to the adaptations for a limited mobility life, I am asking for your indulgence or patience with my questions.
ReplyDeleteA) can the truck be adapted to finger controls? Similar to a vid game where one doesn't need strength but the fine motor skill?
B) do you still have fine motor control? Are you able to write still? I find your blog to be so raw and open; and I pray it brings you calm
Thank you for sharing your life, the bumps and the joys!
My truck is adapted for hand controls and can be further adapted for finger controls. While I still have some strength and fine motor skills, I will be losing those soon, so it makes no sense to spend money on that. As to fine motor skills, I have them. I can still type but I cannot write by hand. I tend to shake too much.
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