Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas!

I know there are all kinds of my friends who celebrate different holidays. Even as I question the theology behind Christianity, my traditions are strong. Celebrating this day is as much a part of my soul as is my love of family, and my adventurous spirit. I have always loved this day, and always will.

It's the days before and after Christmas which cause me real grief. In the days leading up, I worry about so many things. Did I get the right gifts? Did I get enough gifts? Did I miss anyone? Do I have enough food for Christmas dinner? Should I invite others over, or is the guest list long enough? There are plenty of things to fret over, and fretting over things is one of my most excellent abilities.

Lately, though, I have been compelled by disease and finances to do less, to think in smaller terms. I did not do a giant Christmas party this year. Tonny did the arranging and held it here for me. He decided not to do gifts, a decision I am glad was made for me. I didn't have to worry. My family Christmas dinner is organized such that my daughter, Kate, and her family can help with the final preparations. Me? I'm am desperately trying to take it easy, although that's not working so good.

In order to force me to relax, I\ve made a martini for myself. It will take me at least a half hour to finish it, maybe more. In that time I will do my best to focus on my martini instead of things like Christmas lights, food to prepare, or anything else for that matter.

I desire only one thing for Christmas this year; a cure for ALS. This is the sixth Christmas where that has been my wish, my sixth Christmas where my abilities and strength are much less than last year. For the last couple of years I have needed help getting ready for Christmas, putting up the tree, decorating. Next year, if I am still here, I will need more help; I will be unable to do any of it at all. That is, unless someone comes up with a cure, a cure of ALS. Wouldn't that be a Christmas miracle worth having?