Monday, 17 December 2012

I Notice Things

I have called ALS the petty thief. It is. I notice the small losses each day, even when there aren't any. The ALS Clinic Coordinator calls it "hyper vigilance". I notice every detail and wonder if it is the thief or just the sweep of time. Since ALS typically attacks people between 40 and 60, some of the things I am feeling are more likely the result of getting older. Others, not so much.

This morning I noticed a couple of small things, things that might simply be the morning or might be something else. I noticed that when I was showering I held on to the safety rail in the shower just a bit more than I did last week. When I was shaving I held onto the bathroom door frame to steady myself, something I haven't done before (except when I was really hung over). I notice a tingling in my hands that seems different than other tingles. My hips hurt and it seemed to take a bit more effort to move about. It seemed a bit more difficult to get my socks on.

Now I know that each and every one of these things can be explained as a simple function of growing older. I know that I have not been as active as I used to be so my circulation is not as good as it used to be. Hence the tingling. I know that I might just be having a slow start to my day or I might just be a little more tired this morning than other mornings. Hips hurting and slow moving? You should see me some days in hunting camp or on the boat; this is not a new thing. I know all this; I trust none of it.

Despite all this, I got up this morning. I got dressed by myself this morning. I showered myself this morning. I made breakfast and coffee for myself this morning. Now I am sitting in my chair typing my blog, independently. Soon I will get in my truck and drive to work. I know there is a time coming when these freedoms will go. I don't want to rush it.

But I notice things.

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