Grey Sky

I'm feeling a bit more like writing today. I don't know if it's the indolence and sloth that arises out of spending all day, every day, in a hospital bed, getting out into my wheelchair only on occasion; or if is the gloomy grey skies that spead from east to west, blotting out the sun but for a faint glow behind the sky's skin of cloudy steel. Either way, I just have not had the motivation or stimulation to write.

When I say stimulation, I mean that very little is happening to me here in hospital. They kept me here for my own sake, a response to my immobility, thinking it would be better to treat me in hospital rather than asking me to go back and forth from here on a daily basis, and that it would be easier to transfer me to the ALS Clinic and the ENT Clinic from hosital, rather than from home, given the foley catheter and IV line for antibiotics. Between these few events, I mostly sleep, read, or watch Netflix.

Nonetheless, I cannot claim this rest has not been good for me. Even with all the night noises and interruptions, I am getting almost enough sleep. More importantly, my body has the time and energy to finally heal itself. Were I at home, I would be active, wearing myself, using my energy to do things instead of to heal. I am definitely healing. For one thing, I don't think I have seen my urine so clear in months. I am used to it being clouded, at times with a bit of blood in it. Not now, and this convinces me I have been fighting infection for a long time.

I know that the grey goss sky, a flat cap walling off the sky from space, the earth from sun, will pass, most likely in a day or so. By the time I go home on Saturday I am hoping to feel even better than I do now, to have improved in energy and health. I may have ALS, but I don't have to feel bad to go with it.