In And Out Catheter

Neurogenic bladder and a swollen prostate; that's what's keeping me in hospital. Actually, not specifically those things, but the outcome of those two things; I am retaining urine, lots of urine, as much as a full litre at times. That retained urine, full of protein and other stuff, inside a warm, moist environment, presents a wonderful home for wandering bacteria. I get bladder infections.

I thought we were through with all the nonsense until this morning. The new doctor was adamant that if I went home I would be back soon, with another infection. On the other hand if I learned how to catheterize myself, I would be able to empty my bladder, or at least get it to normal retention of 100 to 200 ml. With this happening, I would be less susceptible to infection.

So, as life would have it, today I am neither producing large amounts of urine, nor retaining large amounts of urine. They drained me this morning and I am being slow to refill. Some of it is the vagaries of bodily function, some of it is lack of fluid intake. I have been given a large glass of water and instructed to drink it. I am.

The whole self-catheterization, called an "in and out catheter" basically means that, three times a day, I have to insert a pliable tube into my penis and shove it up until it reaches my bladder, thus creating a free flowing tube to remove retained urine. Yes, it stings, but you get used to it. Yes, the nurses, male and female, have been doing it so far. Yes, I will be required to do it to myself tonight and tomorrow morning before I can be released.

No, this is not fun.