Vertigo Returns

Vertigo has returned today, with the fury of a Viking raiding party as it tears into a British monastery, looking for gold. It is vicious, constant, confusing. Each move of my head causes my world to spin out of control. Each shift of my body causes the walls to curl and curve as if they were in a mirror fun house at the circus. And of course, it's my own damned fault.

Yesterday, in all my activity, I forgot to take my afternoon vertigo pill. With most of my pills, it takes a day or two of missing before I notice a forgotten pill. With the vertigo pills, even one in a series seems to have a pretty powerful effect just the next day, not even 24 hours later. Clearly these pills are keeping things in control. I worry about how long it will be until the effects of the Gentamycin, the damage it caused, will wear off. Part of me worries that it will never wear off, that my hearing is permanently damaged, that vertigo is here to stay, that these pills are now a permanent part of my life.

I am back on the regimen. I have learned my lesson. Don't forget your vertigo pills. Actually my whole body is returning back to its "normal" regimen. For the first time in a very long time, I slept in boxers last night, not in a Depend. I did it without worry, without fuss. I got up this morning to my "normal" routine, and am spending my day without an external catheter. I have almost forgotten what it feels like, to live without the fear of incontinence. So perhaps things are getting better.

I'm going to take it easy today, take an indoor day. I plan on puttering about with some broken fridge magnets, doing a bit of tidy up, and, for the big goal of the day, cutting fruit to make a fruit platter. I have become addicted to them. I like the simplicity of putting a plate of sliced fruit on the table and nibbling as I wish. Oh, and I have a load of laundry on the go. That should be enough for today, especially since every time I move, I get dizzy.