Another Bridge, Another Roadblock

One of the most frustrating things ALS does to me is get in the way of what should be normal household tasks, the things we do, if not daily, at least regularly in the maintenance of our household. Today, for instance, I am cleaning out the freezer in my fridge. I do this in preparation for the loss of my large, stand-up freezer, one of the few losses I don't really mind. Yet here I am, part way through, ground to a complete stop because of the losses I do mind, the losses from ALS.

After a tremendous amount of effort on my part, tremendous because of the loss of strength and ability thanks to ALS, I have emptied the small freezer, the one at the top of my fridge. It's actually quite large if used wisely, unlike the way I have used it by filling it with remants bits of this and extra chunks of that. What I have done is put the stuff I really want to remain frozen into the big freezer awaiting transfer back, disposed of that which really should not have been retained, and put what remains into a basket for my daughter, Kate, to look through when she drops by here on Saturday.

Therein lies the first roadblock. It would appear I am no longer strong enough, at least not today, to open the sliding doors to my patio, whence that basket is bound. It's below freezing weather for a few days to come; another blast of winter has turned Calgary backwards on its meander through spring. The stuff will be fine out there until the weekend, once I get it out there. I have an HCA coming in an hour. There is nothing in the basket which cannot withstand a minor thaw and refreeze, so it will sit on my bench until Kabira gets here. I can go no further.

The other roadblock lies within the small freezer itself. It needs to be wiped clean. This is the first time it has been empty in more than five years. There are all kinds of things that need to be cleaned off and cleaned up in the little box of frozen history. This is the perfect time to do it. Except I cannot. I now lack the ability to reach, or scrub, anything beyond a band of about six inches directly in front of me.

I need someone to come help me clean my freezer, a help task I do not ask for lightly. The problem is, of course, that it is Thursday and everyone is busy, especially busy when it comes to dropping everything to come here and take on the 15 minute task of cleaning out my freezer. While this is not a true obstacle in that I could ask for help and see what happens, it is a "present" obstacle while I ask and wait.

So I have stopped. I will not move forward until Kabira comes to help me put that basket on the porch. I doubt she will have mercy on me and wipe out my freezer. That goes way beyond the care plan, and even though she is generous it is probably another bridge too far. I see a lot of those these days.