Trivia Kings

One of the toughest non-medical parts of living with ALS for as long as I have is the loneliness. I am a single man dealing with an illness that is far to much for me to take some days. Yet I am still here, notwithstanding having made specific plans to leave then cancelling them. There are days, or parts of days, when having to struggle through those times on my own really pushes me to the edge, really makes me wish I had gone through with the MAID plan, or at least died on schedule.

"Died on schedule". As another PALS noted, I do not have an expiration date stamped on my ass. Yet almost five and a half years with ALS, and still living on my own, is what many would call exceptional. You don't hear a lot about the many, many PALS who make up the norm, where they live between 24 and 36 months, or even the abnormal who live up to five years. After that you could be considered unusual, an outlier. I am unusual. I am an outlier.

On of the strongest indicators for prolonged life with ALS is a strong personal relationship and a strong family relationship. Even though I am alone plenty of the time, I am fortunate that my many friends here in Calgary have stepped in to be that strong personal and family relationship. Last night, for example, Dan and Emily came here after their long work day, put me in the van, and took me to meet a bunch of friends at Trivia Night. It's been a long time since I have done this, and I want to do it again. It was fun. There was good food, beer, and great company.

It's an interesting counterpart to earlier in the day, when I had been feeling lonely, struggling to complete even the simplest of the many small tasks there are to be done around my apartment. I think this is one of the things I hate the most, being unable to share those tasks. Another unable to share thing is some of the more difficult parts that come to and through my life on a regular basis. Without going into detail, yesterday was a tough day emotionally.

I faced the day alone, handling things myself, upset within about how my life has worked out. Then Dan and Emily arrived. Things started looking up. I got to Trivia Night; things started looking even better. Others came, many others whom I know and spend time with. It was a terrific night.

Oh, and we won! Trivia kings once again.