Sunday, 14 May 2017

I'm Bored, AKA My Energy Bank Is Empty

I'm bored. I'm home alone, tired, nothing to do. Actually there is lots to do in my apartment, starting with cleaning it up. It's a mess after a very busy yesterday with Kate, Phil and the boys over. Things are too heavy for me to move, to big for me to pick up, to hard for me to push back into place. Kathy will come tomorrow and fix it all.

There is laundry to fold, and another batch to wash. Laundry is, for me and everyone else, a perpetual motion machine. Today I will do laundry. Tonight there will be new laundry in the basket, waiting for the Wednesday wash, which sometimes doesn't get done until Friday. Yet even laundry is an exhausting task for me. A great many times I avoid it, delay it, stay away until compelled by my empty dresser. Soon I will be asking Home Care to do it for me; the energy cost is starting to get up there.

I could go out, but where? I can't use my truck solo thanks to weak arms and an elevated lift seat. If I use the ramp here at home, how to I get out of the truck somewhere else? I was thinking of setting up a permanent ramp here at my apartment so I could at least get in and out at home. Then, when I go out, I can ask people to help me with my folding ramp. But I don't have the energy or strength to build the permanent ramp. I'm too far gone.

It might have been fun to get out in my power wheelchair. Ironically, the batter charger for the lift I used to get into the PWC is broken. I found that out when I went to charge the batteries so I could use the lift. There is a way around this. I could use the attendant drive to move the PWC into my bedroom, then use the bedroom sling to lift myself into the chair. First I would have to move the laundry baskets and the commode chair. Then I could relocate the PWC and myself. As well, when I got home I would have to relocate the various bits and pieces. That's a lot of energy.

There is always Netflix, although most of it is tedious and boring for me these days. There are not a lot of really interesting documentaries; I've watched most of them, some twice. Much of the entertainment production is little better than what you see on TV. Even the much vaunted British televisions shows are lagging in quality these days, or at least that's how it seems.

So here I am. Bored, tired, lonely, alone, lacking the enthusiasm to even grab a bottle of wine. I suppose laundry is my best bet. it will keep me going for an hour or two. Then comes the next struggle. What do I make for a dinner I don't actually feel like eating.


  1. No words, but I hear you. Now that I have the diagnosis, I actually welcome organizing benefits, medical records, etc. It's exhausting, but it's something to do. As a former "doer", all this time on my hands recovering from basic daily activities like fixing something to eat or getting cleaned up is hard to get used to.

  2. Haha, I had words after all. Nothing new there.