Silver Linings And Clouds

It has been suggested to me of late, more than once, that perhaps I have been writing a bit much, perhaps a bit too graphically, about some of my bodily functions. I get it. This is messy, yucky stuff. Who wants to hear about that. Except, of course, that messy, yucky stuff is what living with ALS is all about these days, given that my core and arms are losing or have lost so much. It is the core muscles that control or aide in so many of those bodily functions.

It has also been suggested, more than once, that I might write a bit more about some of the good things going on in my life. There are, after all, so many good things happening for me in terms of support, family, friends, travel and life in general. This I can understand. It falls under the category of "nobody likes a crybaby" or "laugh and the world laughs with you."

The problem is that my life is largely dominated by difficulty these days. Even when nice things happen, they so often happen in the midst of challenge. It is in my nature to more note the challenge than the ease, more note those difficult things rather than the nice things. It's just who I am. As both my daughter and my brother have said of me, I can find a cloud for every silver lining.

Yesterday was a great example of this. Without going into the kind of gory detail which constitutes too much information for so many of you, I spent three hours on my commode chair trying to pass a particularly hard stool. Three hours, trying to poop. The one blessing in all of that difficulty is that my commode chair has wheels. At least I wasn't stuck on the toilet. I could move out of the bathroom and sit at my table, waiting for action to take place, then do a quick roll back to the toilet as needed.

The other nice thing that happened was that Kate came over to visit. Unfortunately her initial arrival took place in the midst of my three hour tour. She took that moment, and wisely so, to head over to the mall to do some shopping. She came back when I sent her the all clear. Then she did what I enjoy most, sat and chatted for a bit, did some sewing for a bit, tidied a few things up. As she left, she took my GPS and Back Up Camera, along with my truck, so Phil could put it together for me this weekend.

You see, there are good things that happen to me. So often, though, they seem wrapped in difficulty. There are silver linings. I just happen to have a cloud for every one.